Operation: Feed the Missionaries.

So. Today at around nine my mom slams me with, "We are having the missionaries for supper tonight, you should make dessert." Let's see what's on the docket for today: drink the Crewlade at 9:15, call london drugs about my computer at 9:30, meeting with my own missionaries at 10:30, rebook the Yates once they leave, physio at 2:45, and Ballet at 6:45. What time are they coming again? Five. Great.

I seriously considered copping out and making some bundt cake, but the one I wanted to do required me to go to the grocery store for bittersweet chocolate and sour cream.... and freestyle a new glaze. I don't think the missionaries would appreciate Creme de Cacao brushed over their cake. So this led me to explore my cupboards. Coarse salt, dark brown sugar, rum extract, and butter. Hmmmmmm. Bingo. Martha's Butterscotch Pecan Cake.

I discovered this beauty about a year ago when I was living on my own. I didn't have time to sleep see, so I'd sometimes get a few minutes to escape my dire situation and peruse Martha Stewart.... a little sanctuary amidst the chaos, if you will. I had wanted to make it forever, but where the heck was I going to get over 4 hours to bake this thing??.... apparently when I'm crunched for time and the missionaries are on their way. What can I say? I thrive off immense stress.

First step was baking the cakes. I heart convection baking.

Afterwards you shave off the tops of the cakes.....

....... and make butterscotch to pour inside them.

This is the butterscotch.

That's dark brown sugar cream cheese frosting, boys and girls.

Yes, this is happening.

See all that butterscotch oozing out the side??

Three, count em, THREE layers. No freaking way.

Iced! And skewered So it will set properly.

All done! Garnished with toasted pecans. Decked to the nines.

Slightly lopsided :\

This is what it looks like inside.

And here is the slice....

Brought it out.... looked at the Missionaries smugly and asked, "So, what do you think?" The response? "This is probably the best dessert I've ever had."


TEN POINTS.

I should also note the following in honor of my sister, Melissa. Oh Melissa, thy chocolate drinking ways are of legends. We often ask you, would you like some cake with your cream cheese icing? It should be stated for the record that this is the only cake she will eat without an extra cup and a half of icing and enjoy it. Wait, what am I saying? ENJOY IT?? She REVELS in it. If she could, she'd marry this cake. She could show this cake a good time. It's also her self requested birthday cake. 


Have I convinced you?? Here's the recipe!

• FOR THE CAKES
• Vegetable oil cooking spray, for pans
• 3 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
• 3/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 1/2 teaspoons coarse salt
• 10 ounces (2 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
• 2 1/2 cups packed dark-brown sugar
• 4 large eggs, room temperature
• 1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 1 1/2 teaspoons artificial rum extract
• 1 1/4 cups buttermilk, room temperature
• FOR THE FROSTING
• 12 ounces unsalted butter (3 sticks), 1 stick left whole, 2 sticks cut into small pieces, softened
• 2 cups packed dark-brown sugar
• 1 cup heavy cream
• 1/2 teaspoon coarse salt
• 20 ounces cream cheese, softened
• 1/2 cup confectioners' sugar, sifted
• FOR THE BUTTERSCOTCH SAUCE
• 2/3 cup packed dark-brown sugar
• 3 ounces (6 tablespoons) butter, cut into pieces
• 1/2 cup light corn syrup
• 1/4 teaspoon coarse salt
• 1/2 cup heavy cream
• 2 cups pecan halves, toasted and chopped, plus more halves for garnish

Directions

1. Make the cakes: Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Coat three 8-by-2-inch round cake pans with cooking spray, line with parchment, and coat parchment. Whisk flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a medium bowl.
2. Beat butter and brown sugar with a mixer on medium-high speed until pale and fluffy, about 5 minutes. Beat in eggs, 1 at a time, beating well after each addition, then add vanilla and rum. Reduce speed to low. Add flour mixture in 2 additions, alternating with buttermilk. Raise speed to medium-high, and beat for 2 minutes. Divide batter among pans.
3. Bake cakes until golden brown and testers inserted in centers come out clean, about 40 minutes. Transfer pans to wire racks, and let cool slightly. Invert cakes onto racks. Let cool.
4. Make the frosting: Melt 1 stick butter in a medium saucepan over medium heat until dark golden brown, about 10 minutes. Add brown sugar, cream, and salt, stirring until sugar dissolves. Bring to a boil, whisking constantly, and cook for 3 minutes. Transfer to a mixer bowl, and let cool.
5. With machine running, add remaining butter, a few pieces at a time, and beat on low until incorporated. Raise speed to medium, and beat for 2 minutes. In another bowl, beat cream cheese and confectioners' sugar on medium-high until fluffy and smooth, about 3 minutes. Add brown-butter mixture to cream cheese, and beat until smooth. Cover, and refrigerate until chilled, at least 2 hours (or overnight, beating on low speed before using).
6. Make the butterscotch sauce: Mix sugar, butter, corn syrup, and salt in a small saucepan over medium heat, and cook, stirring, until sugar dissolves. Bring to a boil, and cook for 2 minutes. Remove from heat, and whisk in cream. Return to heat, and cook for 2 minutes. Let cool slightly.
7. To assemble the cake: Trim tops of 2 cake layers and top and bottom of third (this will be the middle) to create flat exposed surfaces. Brush 1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons butterscotch sauce on cut sides. Let cool. Spread 1 cup frosting on 1 layer, then place middle layer on top, sauce side down. Spread 1 cup frosting on middle layer, then place third layer on top, sauce side down. Spread 1 cup frosting on top and sides. Refrigerate until firm, about 1 hour.
8. Using an offset spatula, spread remaining frosting on top and sides of cake. Press chopped pecans on sides, and garnish top with halves. Transfer cake to a serving plate or cake stand. Refrigerate until firm, at least 4 hours (or up to 2 days, covered).