The Behemoth.

Over the past few months I have done a bit of soul searching. I have come to recognize and relish the simple pleasures in life; a cold diet pepsi, a walk in the crisp autumn air, clean sheets, writing letters, time with family and friends, ballet class, and especially, if not most importantly, eating a wedge of a 15 lb cake.

No, I'm not lying. This thing was MASSIVE. And took a massive amount of patience to bake. Holy Dina, need two hands to count how many times I was sure this thing was down the freaking drain.... and I mean that literally and figuratively.

The cause for this cake was definitely an effort to outdo my Butterscotch Pecan Cake (see Operation, Feed the Missionaries). On paper, it has all the bells and whistles to be a fine competitor. 6 layers, shaved cakes brushed with simple syrup, coconut and heavy cream filling, cream cheese icing.... the works. It's made with 10'' rounds, which boasts size that far surpasses most cakes.

Shiny New 10'' rounds on their Maiden Voyage

And so began my ambitious undertaking. Others who had tried only met failure not once, but multiple times. But alas, this did not deter ME. I am Cakerella, fearless baker extraordinare!... or so I thought.

We begin with the cakes. Easy enough. Flour, sugar, butter, eggs.... Protip: the secret to super fluffy cakes full of wonderful airy pockety-ness (yes, pockety-ness) is to cream your sugar and butter together until it's WHITE and fluffy. Very white and fluffy. Like snow. Don't add eggs till you see snow.

Mixture of cream, vanilla, and coconut extracts! No... there's no Fresca in there even though it made the shot.

I was tempted to leave the cake in batter form. It was SO yummy!

I could tell on paper this cake was going to be good, even if it turned into a trifle (aka: failed cake salvage operation). How? By the cup and a half of heavy cream going into the batter silly goose! Cream is like milk, only buttery. Remember the first rule? Butta makes it betta.

.... I promise to never use that phrase again. But it IS true.

This cake has taught me to trust my oven and the recommended baking times, on Martha Stewart anyways. That lady knows her shiz. Unlike me, try NOT to check your cake or pierce it too many times. This causes your cake to sink a bit... making it a bit difficult to frost and, in this case, shave.

Next came the filling. That slopped mess in the pot? That would be sugar, butter and (ta da! It's a pattern see?) cream. Protip: Use a BIG saucepan, or a deeper pot. There were some casualties along the way today... mainly about a half a cup of boiling filling and a few fingers.

This was technically all I could do, because the cakes had to cool and the filling had to chill before I could do anything about assembly. This was a BLESSING. By this point I was having a wee melt down and definitely needed a break.

At least the cake looked pretty.

After some spiritual upliftment and a delicious supper with my sisters and mom, it was back to the old grind. At around 11:30. Hoo-boy. I threw the chilled filling into the good ol' Kitchenaid and let it fly for about 4 minutes.The mixture went from yellow custard to white coconutty cloud right before my eyes! Magic. Magic in the kitchen I say. Then I made some simple syrup.... this was the silence before the storm.                                                                                                                                                                            

                                                                                                                          

                                                                                                                



 


Step eleventy billion: Shave the tops off your cakes. Then cut it into three uniform layers.                      

                                                          **Keels over, dead-ed**                                                                    

                                                                                                                                                                      

Say wha? It's hard enough dividing a cake evenly in HALF, let alone into three... ESPECIALLY when your pans are only 2'' high to begin with, not to mention the 1/8 inch or so you shave off per side when you remove the tops. Frick.

I had my sister pick up the drooping sides of the slices while I supported the top and bottom with a pancake flipper. But, can't you just rest it on top? Of course not! You have to flip it over because that's the side you brushed with syrup.... and you still have to brush the other! Martha you evil evil spawn.

Much, much brainpower went into this.

Brushing on the syrup with, yes, a PASTRY BRUSH. I'm pulling out the big guns.

Then you spread on 2 cups of filling!... Rinse and repeat until you get...

.... something that looks like this.

It was an impressive sight to behold, save the messy edges. NO MATTER! Let's slather it in two batches of cream cheese ici...... crap. One bar of cream cheese. *Ahem* Let's slather it in a batch of cream cheese icing! I'm not a fan of rationing, especially not cream cheese icing (henceforth known as CCI)

This is what happens with single batches of CCI. Unimpressed. Protip: Never, EVER make single batches. EVER.

I figured that the lack of icing would be okay for presentation, due to the toasted coconut I would be coating the edges with. So I put the bulk of it on top of the cake.

Toasty coconut is toasty :) And a great disguise for a messy frost. Chopped nuts or shaved chocolate are both delicious alternatives.

After the coconutting and the icing, it was back to the fridge to chill overnight. Sunday was long and lazy, with supper starting around 6. After traditional delicious roast dinner, we cleared the plates and everyone gathered round for the great unveiling! After the tinfoil was ripped away (it was too big to put the glass dome cover on), everyone oo'd and ahhh'd and took turns trying to hoist the hefty cake. Heavy cream is heavy.

Cake, minus Dad's slice.

The first slice went to Dad, then Mom, then Scott and Melissa and then me last, being a gracious host and all. I was scared for everyone to try it, especially Melissa. She is a huge fan of the Butterscotch cake, and I was worried about the lack of icing. Let me tell you all, I am now a firm believer in "Silence is Golden". Everyone took a bite, eyes widened, and they proceeded to mow down like the cake was going out of style. Success. Sweet, sugary success.

A few additional pictures of the cake!

The cake was exquisitely moist, thank you syrup.

                                          As you can see, we hardly made a dent in this cake... especially considering there were five of us eating. Where is it now? Neatly sectioned and stored in the freezer. Frozen cake... mmmmm.....